Tuesday, January 17, 2006

31 Flavors of Ignorance

Mayor Nagin announcing his future career plans.
31 Flavors of Ignorance

On a day meant to commemorate the life and teachings of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Mayor C. Ray Nagin chose to provide a gathering of celebrants at City Hall with his take on the future racial make-up of our city. Claiming that a “conversation” with the late Dr. King was his inspiration for the speech, Mayor Nagin took license with Dr. King’s memory to promise a future for New Orleans that was “chocolate”. We assume this means African-American, and not Rocky Road or Chunky Monkey. Since our Mayor decided to use a little creative license with Dr. King’s memory, we feel the only logical remedy is a small dose of Dr. King’s words.

We must use time creatively.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

When Mayor Nagin mentioned that "[God] sent us hurricane after hurricane after hurricane..." because He is mad at America for a list of ills surrounding both the war in Iraq and black-on-black violence, not once did he note his own lack of planning. This isn’t a case of God taking sides over whether or not someone lied about pre-war intelligence, but poor maintenance of our levee protection, compounded by inadequate planning and lackluster local leadership at the height of the crisis. But let’s say for argument’s sake, Nagin is right and God is actually mad at the USA, does it make sense that New Orleans would be the target of His wrath? Why not Washington, D.C.?

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

If one could reasonably claim such direct contact with the Almighty, where were Mr. Nagin’s pronouncements to heed our impending destruction? No, this isn’t a case of God forewarning one of his people, but rather a leader whose lost touch with reality and feels pandering to our basest emotions will allow his political career to continue.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Mayor Nagin on the other hand has a dream of a “chocolate” New Orleans. It sure must be difficult to have such high-minded and lofty goals, Ray.

Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Let us finally put to rest the notion that C. Ray Nagin did anything correctly. Like yesterday’s speech, Mayor Nagin has no one to blame but himself and his administration. When given the time to prepare and ample warning of what our weaknesses were, Mayor Nagin did nothing. Ooops, I almost forgot, he did create a disaster plan. Any idea how that worked out for us?

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sadly, Mayor Nagin didn’t and still doesn’t measure up.


At 9:15 PM, Blogger Clia Toris said...

New Orleans Mayor to Seek Treatment for Addiction

NEW ORLEANS (AP) – The New Orleans Mayor’s office confirmed today that Mayor Ray Nagin will seek treatment for an addiction to chocolate. Spokesman Marcus Spires explained that Mayor Nagin has been battling an addiction to chocolate in private for a number of years. He will enter an inpatient treatment center for 8 weeks.

Dr. Wilbur Peabody of the Oakmont New Horizon Treatment facility explained that, “the Mayor has all the classic signs of addiction. The frontal lobes of his brain, which regulate decision making and inhibit impulsive behavior, are no longer functioning properly.”

He went on to explain the full extent of the Mayor’s obsession with chocolate confectionaries. “His Honor has consumed so much cocoa,” stated Peabody, “that he has built up a significantly high level of N-Arachidonoylethanolide - one of the main chocolate cannabinoids. He is clearly suffering not only a psychological addiction but a physical one as well.” Peabody further stated that he felt extremely confident that Mayor Nagin would be able to win his battle with chocolate. “I guarantee that after the Mayor completes our treatment program he’ll never so much as utter the word chocolate again much less eat it.” added Peabody.

On the streets of New Orleans many citizens expressed their unwavering support of Mayor Nagin. “I feel so relieved now that we know what is wrong with him.” said Tyrell Coleman age 31. “I initially was pretty pissed off at that brother for not bussing us out of here when Katrina struck. Now I know that he probably just had some kind of short term memory loss and forgot to order the busses to pick us up. It ain’t his fault – it was the cocoa.”

Other constituents echoed Coleman in their defense of Nagin. “This wasn’t the first time that the Mayor rambled on about chocolate,” said Ron Dedeaux a resident of the French Quarter. “Now it all makes sense.” Overall, most people in New Orleans felt positive that Mayor Nagin would recover and get back to rebuilding this once great city.

The Mayor’s office also announced that an interim Mayor has been selected. Mayor Nagin himself announced that he has appointed his cousin Jimmy “Showtime” Taylor to handle his mayoral duties in his absence. The selection of Nagin’s cousin was further proof to the citizens of New Orleans that things were finally starting to return to normal.


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